Why You Should Ask Your Ex for Dating Advice
Asking an ex for dating advice can change how you show up in love.
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Why You Should Ask Your Ex for Dating Advice
Some folks find it extremely difficult to be cordial with an ex. The bastard may have run off with your twin sister (this happened to someone I know!), or maybe they didn’t treat you with the love and appreciation you deserve. Regardless of the why and how, it’s important to reflect on your relationship to pinpoint negative patterns, destructive behaviors, and limiting mindsets that keep you stuck. Like angry, drunk texting, “Why don’t you love me like I love you?!” (#guilty) or icing him out instead of communicating effectively.
Fun fact: your ex will know you better than the next. Every person who has seen you naked (literally and figuratively) knows how you operate. As you peeled away layers of clothing and bared your cuca and your heart, they learned you. So why not ask an ex for dating advice? Here is how an ex-love can lead you to Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Pinpoint your missteps
It’s easy to forget that we may not have been perfect in a former relationship. Consulting with an ex will give you a needed reality check. Ask your ex for dating advice so you’re aware of how you contributed to the dynamic. Some questions to ask include: how did I impact our relationship negatively? Are there certain behaviors that I should be aware of? Do I have a negative attitude or mentality preventing me from being open? How do you feel I treated you? Your ex can pinpoint your missteps and lead you in the right direction.
Be accountable
When your ex is giving you the scoop, try not to blame him or her for your baggage and issues. Hear out your ex, take it all in, and be accountable. This is especially the case if you speak to multiple exes and they give you similar feedback. One may say you’re defensive, another may say you don’t know how to apologize, and the third may call you out on your quick temper. All roads lead to you so be receptive.
How you flirt
You’re newly single, dating, and off your game. Or you never had game to begin with! This is when an ex can help. Asking your ex for dating advice on your flirting skills may just do the trick to getting more dates.
The type of girlfriend you are
Perception. It truly is everything. You might believe you’re an affectionate, communicative, and considerate girlfriend, yet your ex believes you’re thoughtless and The Worst at being vulnerable.
ALSO READ: 5 Love Blocks That May Be Keeping You Single
Poll your exes. Ask them what makes you a great (or not-so-great) partner. Only ask exes who don’t feel animosity toward you or wouldn’t say anything just to be hurtful. Get their feedback and reflect on the common themes. That’s how you’ll learn who you truly are as a girlfriend and how you treat a partner.
What they love about you
Asking your ex for feedback is supposed to be a positive learning experience. You want constructive criticism so you can move on, date, and love again. End on a high note and ask your exes what they loved about you. What qualities do you possess that they cherish? What is it about you that made them fall in love or in like? Get these answers. Skip away happily into the sunset. And hopefully, into a new, healthy relationship where you’re fully aware of who you are as a partner.