The Greatest Love of All - Gal Pals
What if Galentine's Day is actually more important than Valentine's Day?
Hi! Welcome to Brandy’s Breakthroughs! I’m Brandy, the protagonist from ‘Brandy,’ the first book in the “Bliss Bay Romance” series. While I’m happily boo-ed up now, before I met my boyfriend, I had some struggles. And I got stories for days! But through all the situations - and situationships - I learned a lot and grew into the woman that was ready to be in the healthy and happy relationship I’m in now. These are my reflections about life and love with my amazing squad of lady friends. Because breakdowns and breakthroughs happen in the group chat.
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“Maybe we can be each other's soulmates. And then we could just let men be these great, nice guys to have fun with!”
As a long time fan and binge watcher of Sex and the City, I love this quote from Charlotte. For much of my life, I was never the girl getting the attention of all the guys. I mean - I didn’t even have my first boyfriend until I was in college! Then, throughout my twenties, I survived more than a handful of short-lived, short term relationships that left me sad and brokenhearted. And after one particularly devastating experience, I turned, yet again, to one of my favorite comfort shows, and this time the episode and the quote just hit different. So much so that I immediately called up my cousin, Gabby.
Gabby is amazing, y’all! A few years older than me, she’s always been more like a big sister and the first person I go to for all things relationships. And while she’s had her share of ups and downs, she’s always been a hopeless romantic and lover of love. Before she even said it, I could hear her voice in my head, “Like I always say, B. Just because you don’t happen to have a man at the moment, doesn’t mean you don’t have an abundance of love!”
She was right, of course! I had plenty of love and already had my crew of soulmates and besties, including her. So in honor of that conversation and Valentine’s Day, I decided to interview Gab and share more about what we’ve learned about one of our favorite types of love. The love we share with our gal pals! So grab a glass of your favorite bevvie (I’ll be drinking a glass of Cab Franc) and enjoy!
READ MORE: 4 Fun Ways to Celebrate Galentine’s Day
Brandy: Hey Gab!
Gabby: Hey B! Excited for our chat.
Brandy: Me too! Okay. I’m sure you remember that night I called you.
Gabby: Oh do I…after the JJ incident?
Brandy: Girl…that’s the one. I’ve come a long way!
Gabby: Surely!
Brandy: So, tell me more about this idea of love of friends, or friends as soulmates.When did the concept of that first resonate with you?
Gabby: Yeah! So, it definitely took me a while to learn it. I think that is just part of the journey for many women. We’re fed so many things from society about romantic love. First of all, we really are tricked into thinking it’s supposed to look like a Disney movie.
Brandy: Just played! I mean, could I roll my eyes any harder!
Gabby: Seriously! So it is really made out to be the priority. And not that there's anything wrong with desiring or having a partner. It’s just, we miss something when that’s all we focus on! I mean, imagine what it would have looked like to see Jasmine supported by some homegirls when Aladdin was acting up.
Brandy: I can’t with you!
Gabby: But for real though. Anyway. Back to my journey. It was at the end of college. I was leaving Howard and going to Emory for law school and also breaking up with my college boyfriend, Craig. It was excruciating! But that was really when my friendship with Amaya got even stronger. I mean, she was picking me up off the floor when I was hysterically crying. And going with me to his place to pick up my stuff. Given I’m an only child, and you were only, what, 15 at the time…and I just didn’t want to admit what I thought of as failure to my mom, I really had to rely on my friend.
Brandy: Yeah. That also makes me think about my bestie, Danielle, and the many times she and I would real talk about life.
Gabby: Exactly! And that definitely was not the last time! But what I learned through that is that I could be me, vulnerably. I didn’t have to be strong for Amaya. I could be as messy as I felt. That was really one of the first times I learned that.
Brandy: What else do you think contributed to you building these relationships?
Gabby: I think a crucial part has been finding ways to stay connected even as our lives changed. I think one of the more significant changes was when my bestie had a baby! I was thrilled! Being Auntie Gab is such a treat, but…you know her time is different raising a little one. So we have found ways to make it work. And we get that life gets busy and give each other grace! Because while she’s raising a little, I’m often traveling abroad and on other time zones so we just figure it out. We will schedule FaceTimes but we also love Marco Polo. We can send videos but check in when we have time.
Brandy: That makes sense. I know there were shifts for me when some of my friends got married or moved out of state. But same. We’ve found our way. My girls and I swear by our group chat!
Gabby: You and your group chat! Yes! I love how you all communicate from all across the country and support each other.
Brandy: Yes! What else would you recommend?
Gabby: Take a vacay together! You may not be able to do it every year, but I really think you should prioritize that. Just to be away from the day to day and really get that time you had like you were younger. We take for granted, especially with our college friends, just how much time we spent together!
Brandy: I know! Danielle and I talk about that all the time.
Gabby: Clearly that has financial implications, so if you can’t do that, prioritize your girls nights if you are in town together. Or get creative with your virtual girls nights!
Brandy: Oh yeah! Me and the group chat girls did that. We all wanted to rewatch Insecure, so we would get on Zoom together, have our drinks, watch the episodes, and chat while watching. Not quite the same, but something to keep us connected.
Gabby: Yes! That’s the way! Book clubs. Wine clubs. So many ways to keep connected over your interests.
Brandy: So as we think about Valentine’s Day coming up, what’s your best advice to all the ladies out there who may be a little down about the holiday?
Gabby: Sure! Girl. Romanticize your own life. Love on your girlfriends. They’ve been around long before these men. Most of who will come and go! There is so much love in your life and truly really celebrate that. Who needs Valentine’s Day when you have Galentine’s Day?!
Brandy: So true. Thank you so much, Gab! Love you!
Gabby: Love you, too B!
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